Day 1295 of 1456

Day 1295 of 1456 in trump's America.

Cops killed George Floyd.

I have a friend from high school who’s a cop who broke contact with me several years ago when I made a joke about cops getting their feelings hurt because of a song by Beyoncé. He reached out again a few months ago and I never got back to him. I have to admit, it’s because of days like today. I don’t want to know that he’s a cop, because best case scenario is that he’s one of the ones who avert their eyes at this stuff. I knew this dude; he’s certainly not a villain, but he’s definitely not a hero. And I know he’s in a job that attracts way too many of the former and apparently none of the latter. I’d rather just sit here and assume he disappoints me, rather than check in and confirm it. Because I know if he spoke up – as an officer – and took a stand against the cops that murdered George Floyd, he’d be famous overnight – the one cop in the nation with a conscience! Step right up! See this amazing marvel of modern society! – and then his name would find its way to me, and I could say, “Hey, I know that guy. Good job, dude.” But I’m not going to hold out much hope.

Because cops killed George Floyd.

I haven’t watched the video. I really don’t feel like it. You might say that impedes my ability to be objective in a situation like this. Luckily I’m not a real journalist and you’re not paying for this, so I don’t have to really care about sad kindergarten ideas like “both sides of the argument.” Cops killed a human being. He died because of them. Those are the facts. If you need a video to convince you, you go watch it. If you didn’t already know that they do this kind of stuff before today, I don’t really know what to tell you. I’m talking now only to the people who already know this stuff happens, who have already known, for years, that cops kill black people. If you weren’t already convinced, I’m not going to waste time here trying to turn you. I can write off anyone I want as a lost cause here, I don’t have an editor. Once again, not a real journalist. If you just turned 18 yesterday and you can finally unlock the “mature” settings on YouTube and this is your first rodeo, welcome! Cops kill black people, constantly. They did it again in Minneapolis yesterday. That’s what we’re talking about right now. Now you’re all caught up. How does that make you feel? Since you’re only 18, I’m going to assume you can’t drink about it, which I am sorry about. Unless you’re a sociopath and feel nothing, in which case, again, fuck off. No one owes you anything. No one needs to meet you half way. There is no other side to this.

Because cops killed George Floyd.

These are facts. And those are our two options, from now on. They have always been the only two options, everyday: Either you care, or you don’t. You can’t “kind of care.” You can’t “care, if…” You can’t “care depending on what kind of person he was.” You either care that cops killed a person – and that people are actually shocked and surprised that the cops were at least actually fired for once this time – or you don’t. And we have no obligation to “try to sway you otherwise” if you don’t. Go play with crayons on the railroad tracks. The adults with working emotional capacities are talking.

Hi everyone. How’s everyone doing? Rough day, huh? Yeah, I know. How many of you are actually shocked? How many of you even remember what shock feels like? How many of you are unsure whether you’ll ever call the cops for anything ever again? Yeah, me too. I’m sure that’ll pass, which is still kind of gross, but still probably true. How do we take a stand? How do we draw a line in the sand and say “no more?” Every time something like this happens and The Last Straw still doesn’t show up to the party, you just get more and more disappointed in yourself to even want to still count yourself as a Human Being. Can’t we switch teams or something? Sometimes I laugh at people who claim to identify as a wolf, or an owl, or a bear or a unicorn, but fuck, today I get it. This is what we’re putting up with, being a member of this species. This is the kind of world we decided on. Not WE we, like us reading and writing this, but you know what I mean. You know what I’m trying to say, hopefully. We have to share living space with sacks of wet meat who “aren’t quite sure if it should’ve escalated like that but those cops have a tough job and they know what they’re doing.” Ugh. Gross. Get a hobby. Something besides kissing ass, because you’re helping people die in your free time by going along with it.

Because cops killed George Floyd.

And they won’t stop unless we make them stop. That’s the final conclusion. No one’s coming to rescue us. We decide when this ends. There is no ultimate justice, there is no final judgment. People get away with murder unless non-murderers decide to do something to make them stop. The cops were immediately fired for once – not “put on paid administrative leave,” but actually unemployed – and that’s a start. I almost said, “good start,” but that first word doesn’t really feel like an adjective that applies anywhere in these situations. We decide how far this goes, both this time and from now on.

And I’m only interested in talking to people who already think it’s wrong. I don’t really think it’s my job to talk you into caring about other people. Your parents probably should’ve done a better job raising you? I don’t know what else to tell you. More people are going to die while we waste time trying to get you to see how bad things have gotten, everywhere. If you don’t already know, if the videos haven’t already worked, I doubt this stupid pile of angry words I wrote while I was sitting in my underwear are going to do the trick for you. I’m not interested in talking to you if you don’t already care. I only want to spend my time with people who know how bad it’s gotten. I have no inclination to talk to anyone wondering if he deserved it. I have no desire to talk to anyone who needs to be convinced that people don’t deserve to be crushed to death. I have no patience with people who still aren’t quite sure if people deserve to survive their encounters with authority figures.

I don’t need to hear from people who think it’s important to know what country someone came from or why before you stick them in a cage. The cage is the issue. I don’t care what kind of person George Floyd was on Sunday before he died on Monday. The death is the issue. We don’t have time to try to reach out to people who think like that – that the system works and if someone gets snuffed out it because they must have deserved it – because they are lost children who think there is a greater justice above us who takes care of everything. There is not. There is no reaching those people. And even if it that great justice up above was real, I’d still spit on it if it meant we had to let cops crush black men’s necks under their knees until they stopped breathing.

Because that’s how cops killed George Floyd. Now we get to decide if he’s the last one.